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Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Subject:The shows and parents' visit!
Time:12:35 pm.
Mood: loved.
The show weekend and my parents' visit was about as perfect as could be!

The details! )
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Subject:Tech week!
Time:11:14 am.
Mood: excited.
My dance show is this Friday and Saturday! Tonight is the first night of tech. I have so much food, clothing, make-up and sewing stuff packed into my car it looks like I am moving into the theater (which I essentially do each show!).

Mom and dad are coming out to see both shows, we will have four whole days together. :-) Several other East-cost family members, aunts and uncles and cousins, are traveling great distances to see this show. I am so thrilled and honored. :-)

We have rehearsed hard, I have been sewing costumes like a lunatic, but the show feels strong. The residency piece, which I talked about in August, has finally gotten to the point where I feel worthy to be performing it because I feel like I can do it justice. All the trouble spots have melted away such that we can consistently nail them. This dance can be quite unforgiving; the spacing and timing have to be JUST right, and all six of us have to be in perfect tune with each other in order for it to work. The choreographer, Pascal Rioult himself, as well as his wife Janice and Stacy (the dancer who taught it to us) will be there for the Saturday show! I am both scared and excited to meet him and Janice, who were both long-time principal dancers in the Martha Graham company!

We did the whole show for a critic last Saturday, and all the stop-and-go (talking between pieces) allowed our muscles to get cold, which I think is why my lower back has knots and is bothering me again (two other dancers had the same thing that day). I have been stretching and massaging with a tennis ball, and walking around with a heat pack strapped on to relax the muscles. It's getting better already. But this show is very back-intensive, all but one of the pieces requires me to arch a lot, and while that's usually my greatest dancing strength (my ONLY natural skeletal flexibility!) if I crunch it too much it gets VERY unhappy. Taking it easy tonight and hoping it's back to normal by Friday.

The excitement and intensity abounds! :-)
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Subject:Veterans Day
Time:9:43 am.
Mood: contemplative.
I would like to take a moment to honor my grandfather Al, my grandpa Preston, DJ and Jason who are currently in the Middle East, and all other veterans and service personnel. I may not agree with the war we are fighting, but I do send my love, support and sincere gratitude to the troops and their families for all that they are doing.

Perhaps one peaceful day we will not be fighting anyone and our military personnel will all get to be home for Thanksgiving.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Subject:One year ago today...
Time:9:51 am.
Mood: discontent.
One year ago today, we blew up the Death Star and elected President Obama! I still get excited when I hear his name on NPR, and I continue to be proud of the work he is doing for us.

Also one year ago today, the abundant joy was pierced by disbelief and horror as Prop 8 won a resounding victory in my old home state.

That familiar feeling is back, now that Maine voters have decided by a margin of 53-47 that gay people do not deserve the same rights as everyone else. Thus far no state has supported gay marriage by vote, only legislatures and courts have been able to protect the rights of a minority from the ignorance and prejudice of a majority.

What angers me the most is that the Yes On 1 campaign used the same scare tactic (i.e. deceit of voters) that they successfully wielded in California, namely telling people that the law would cause gay marriage to be taught to children in schools. The bill said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the schools, curriculum, or bringing such value discussions into the classroom. And as the Bangor article pointed out, if a child's homosexual parents come to a school event the discussion may or may not go on regardless of whether the parents are legally married. This strategy by the opponents to equality shamelessly plays on parents' fears of having their kids come home asking questions the parents don't want to answer. Guess what: kids will ALWAYS ask some questions that make you uncomfortable. Welcome to the world of parenting.

The leader of Stand For Marriage Maine said in his victory speech last night that (loosely quoted) 'this has never been about hating gays, it is about preserving traditional marriage between one man and one woman. The vote tonight shows that marriage matters to people in Maine.' Of course marriage matters, it is a stabilizing factor in society, but that does not mean it has to ONLY happen between heterosexual couples. I have yet to see any real arguments that articulate any true adverse consequences of extending marriage rights to the approximately 10% of the population who are not heterosexual, nor do I understand what straight, narrow-minded people thing they will lose by including homosexuals in the protections of our country's constitution.

If we want to "preserve" marriage, keep it "sacred" as they claim it is, and do what is "in the best interest of the children," then in my humble opinion we should be focusing on abolishing the myriad other things that are ACTUALLY hurting marriage in this country: the divorce rate, increasingly accepted infidelity, abusive relationships, alcoholism and other addictions, the battle between pressures to advance a high-powered career and maintain a romantic partnership, the rampant individualism that has pushed this society over the edge into caring about our own momentary happiness more than honoring a promise we made to another person.

Working toward solutions to all of the above problems is in EVERYONE'S interest, gay or straight or whatever alike. That's something I'd like to think we can all agree on, and can work together to solve.

To quote the Bangor Daily News once again, "It is hard to see how allowing more people to marry will weaken marriage. Instead, it seems the strong desire of gay and lesbian couples to be married, rather than declared domestic partners, shows the value and importance of marriage."
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Subject:Fantastic article
Time:3:37 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
I just found this editorial about Question 1, the repeal of gay marriages in Maine which is being voted on today. The article was published in the Bangor Daily News in mid-October.

"It is only natural that changing the definition of something as fundamental as marriage makes some uncomfortable. However, marriage has changed over time — interracial marriages were once banned, and men were allowed to have many wives — without harming heterosexual marriages. In a country where the divorce rate is too high and too many children grow up in dysfunctional and abusive families, encouraging more adults to commit to long-term, loving relationships is a positive, not a negative."

Halleluia!

It is one of the most rational, calm, intelligent and straightforward arguments for gay marriage (nationwide!) that I have seen in a long time. It acknowledges and then pokes holes in the claims from the conservatives who cry that legalizing gay marriage will corrupt our children, destroy families and cause lawsuits.

Seeing this made me incredibly happy. I hope the intelligent and aware residents of the Pine Tree State will recognize that a threat to anyone's freedom or rights is a threat to their own, and will vote accordingly.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Subject:Questions for Dr. Laura...
Time:5:22 pm.
Mood: amused.
The following was sent to me by a friend of my mother's. I love it!!! I think my favorite line is, "Should I smite them?"

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter-in-law into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum
Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Subject:Wow long time no update...
Time:12:21 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
YES mother I am finally updating you can stop nagging me on my Facebook wall. :-)

Notable events recently (in reverse chronological order):

Today marks one year that I have been at my new job. It's ironically fitting that yesterday was the starting day for the first new hire since I began working here. She's awesome and talented and I'm glad to have some more estrogen on the team (this makes 3 females out of 15 employees!); not that the gender gap causes any issues, but still, it's nice to have a couple other women around. This new hire is replacing our beloved receptionist of 20+ years who, on the Friday of the long weekend, was the latest victim of the recession in getting laid off. I was out sick on her last day and still haven't had the chance to say goodbye, though I'm going to contact her. It was just sort of shocking that it could all happen so fast, in one 5:07 pm e-mail from the boss. Now that I know some more of the details from my supervisor it's a little better, but still, tough to have lost one of my closer friends in the company. Ah well, life goes on.

Got some more field work last week at the really nasty site (the one that required me to wear a respirator last February) and the work turned out to be much easier than we thought; didn't find any nasty soil in the section where we were digging! Makes the process so much simpler. :-)

Sunday we got a nor'easter, which included a fair amount of snow. Yes, that's right, SNOW, in October. There was also a good dose of "wintry mix", which I still am befuddled by (frozen and liquid water falling at the same time?! Physics, what!?!!) and the snow did not stick on the roads, but it did begin to make a white layer on grassy areas that were cold enough to not melt it. Was interesting, for sure. :-)

Thankfully the day before, Saturday, was mercifully free of falling water (in any form) and even brought some patches of blue sky, enough to draw a great crowd for Downcity Fusion Fest, my dance company's fall fundraiser. It was an Oktoberfest kind of thing, so we had beer tastings, food, bands, crafts for kids, ALL of which was donated by various entities because Katie, our grant writer/development director/former dancer/goddess was able to charm everyone she knows into giving something to the event. She did an amazing job, all the dancers helped, we even did an improvised dance performance to one of the bands (on gravel, in the cold, not warmed up... whatever!). Got lots of people who had heard about it in the paper and hadn't known much about us before. I worked the pumpkin painting table so I saw lots of kids doing incredible artwork, and got to informally survey their parents about how they had heard of us. A fun day overall, a bit brisk, but awesome turnout for what they had originally said would be a rainy awful day. And the MAYOR of Providence showed up!! That was pretty awesome. :-)

There are pictures on the Fusionworks Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=129079&id=39908500939

Earlier that day I fenced in the Brown Alumni fencing meet vs: the undergrads (held every parents' weekend), which was the first time I'd touched a blade in two years. Saw lots of beloved friends, didn't know a single one of the undergrads but they were cool anyway, lost both my bouts BUT I managed a perfect flesche against the tall kid, and I got the point! So that felt good, especially after Ruth spent my entire senior year trying to get me to flesche... even when you lose the bout, landing a well-planned touch like that is as good as winning. :-)

My dance show is a month from today, my parents will be here (YAY!) in a month minus one day, and there shall be much visiting afoot while they are here. :-) Life is good!
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Subject:Birthday!
Time:5:18 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
As of last Sunday I am 26 years old, which now doesn't seem quite so old as it did when I was anticipating the birthday a few weeks ago. Last year was a milestone birthday - I could supervise an unlicensed driver, rent a car at the lower rate, and generally be moved into the next higher age bracket in statistical questions (most things group ages 18-24 together so I was finally out of the "college-age" clump!). This year, as it approached and I thought about it, the number 26 just seemed to be inching closer to 30.

Not that I have a complex about getting older or a list of goals to do by age 30 that I haven't met, nor have I bought into any of society & the media's garble about 30 being some cutoff age after which life and youth are essentially over. It's just... something that felt very far away in college, and now it clearly is growing closer at an accelerated rate. I realized at 15 that times goes faster as you get older. It hasn't stopped yet. Eeeeeek!

My 26th birthday celebration was spread over several days, including getting sung to by the dancers on Saturday and the church bell choir on Sunday, homemade cookies and a cake, several excellent lunches/dinners out with loved ones, cards from many dear friends and relatives, several wonderful gifties in the mail from Auntie Erin, continued enjoyment of the fantastic MacBook Pro that mom and dad got me earlier this month (eeeeee!), and a brand new 12-volt DeWalt cordless drill which (unlike my current 9.6 Ryobi with the worthless battery) will NOT die after 12 hours of charging and 15 seconds of working!!!! I got a full set of drill bits and screw-gun fittings with it too. Happy happy Shauna!

I talked to mom and dad that day, of course, which was wonderful. Got calls from several good friends, a hilarious drunken voicemail from my sister at 6 am eastern time (3 am pacific!), numerous Facebook wall posts and messages, and hugs from the people I happened to get to see during the weekend. Felt very loved (still do). Life is good. :-)
Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Subject:RIP Mary Travers
Time:11:31 am.
Mood: contemplative.
The news last week that Mary Travers (of Peter, Paul and Mary) had passed away saddened me more than I expected. I feel badly that I didn't even realize she was sick. I heard about it when my clock radio started up at the usual time that morning, playing the local "80s, 90s and now" station which has a cute morning show of amusing but usually relevant banter. I usually leave the radio playing while I get ready for work, and shortly after it clicked on the news update said that Mary had died the previous night.

They played a great recording of Leaving On a Jet Plane as a tribute to her, which impressed me because this station doesn't normally delve into folk music. But then after the song finished, of course, they went back to their usual fare, talking about Jay Leno and winning tickets to his show, and I found myself feeling slightly angry that they could just move on after the news that we had lost such a beloved and far-reaching artistic and political icon.

But I knew NPR would provide a more worthy acknowledgment, and they did not disappoint me. They broadcast a lovely, 6-minute story about her life and work, both with PP&M and through her human rights activism. The story talked about how the group (brand new at the time) sang at the Vietnam War protest in DC, and included several song clips that brought back many memories of my childhood. Later that day I found Mary's website, which had a wonderful tribute to her life and a thank-you to her many fans, as well as statements by Peter and Paul about how they would miss her and how much she meant to them. The PP&M Facebook page filled up with wonderful notes from fans, recalling concerts and personal memories or just thanking Mary for her many years of faithful work and artistry and expressing condolences to the family. Even with all of this, though, I spent much of the day feeling undertones of sadness.

I remember mom recording a PP&M concert on the VCR at our old house when I was very young, I must have watched it dozens of times. I used to dance to their records in the living room, with mom reminding me not to jump too much because I would skip the record player. Their Christmas/Channukah album, A Holiday Celebration, is MY FAVORITE holiday album of all time and it always starts off my Christmas playlist when the season comes. The deep tones and rich, passionate color of Mary's voice will always stick with me.

She said something in an interview that was played as part of the NPR story, something that I find is still very relevant. She said, "we learned that it takes more than one generation to bring about change. But I think we've made good progress." How true that is, and how hopeful it makes me in the era of a new, young, optimistic and courageous president in a country where so much is in chaos, and yet so much is just on the cusp (I think) of being solved.

So rest in peace, dear Mary, and thank you for a lifetime of music, activism, and outspoken honesty for the good of all. We shall carry on where you left off.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Subject:Thought process...
Time:9:01 am.
Mood: thoughtful.
I've had a fascination recently with thought process and decision-making, both examining how I do it in my own life and how others around me seem to do it. I've had a few opportunities in the last month, when presented with a perplexing situation (mostly though group e-mail), to think about my response and in most cases bounce some ideas off a friend before writing out something that acknowledges the many sides of the issue but presents my take on the situation. In some cases I have had to content myself with only the agreement of my peers even when the situation did not change, while in other cases the situation has resolved itself into what I hoped for on its own. I have understood that simply speaking my mind will not always guarantee that my voice will be heard or make a difference. But in all cases I was proud of how I gathered my thoughts and presented them respectfully.

I've always enjoyed reading advice columns, Dear Abby and Ann Landers when they were still publishing, currently Ask Amy and Tell Me About It (Carolyn Hax). I find that I often read the columnist's response more than once, following the logic of which issues they raise and how they weight the priorities in the dilemma presented by the letter-writer. Most of the time my own initial reaction to the original letter includes some of the columnist's thoughts, but certainly not all, and it's interesting to see what else they come up with and consider in giving a response. This is not to say that these two women know everything or always give the "right" answer, but in general their advice seems to be sound and comes from a good, balanced perspective.

I have been fortunate to have kind people in my life who have given me gentle but honest feedback about my manner and decision-making, both in instantaneous social situations as well as larger issues that require (and allow) time and pondering. I've always been hard-pressed to admit that my demeanor and social intelligence/awareness are any different because I was homeschooled, and in some sense I think much of it simply stems from my innate personality and hard-wired tendencies. But until my first day of sociology class freshman year at Brown, when my professor described the universal human trait of constantly asking oneself how one's behaviors come across, such self-monitoring had never really occurred to me. And it was eye-opening to see every head in that lecture hall nodding with the professor, as if to say "yep, I do that," with little me on my island of oblivious mixed blessing: not caring what other people think or letting it negatively affect me, but also not really knowing how my behaviors might be hurting me without my knowledge.

I credit many of my siblings in Alpha Delta Phi for patiently giving me some feedback but not wanting to "change" me, just helping me be a little more aware of differences in my interactions and how to help them work for me. I learned a HUGE amount during my years at college, and although I certainly didn't suddenly become obsessed with other people's opinions of me, I did grow more aware of how I came across in conversations or groups and how that could be lightly edited to work in my best interest.

There seems to be a balance that we all struggle to find, between sticking to our own intuitive sense of what is right or best in a situation and incorporating what other people think or feel about the same situation. People who have absolutely no concern for information from outside themselves and think only internally, or ignore new evidence to the contrary of their conclusion, can be characterized as ignorant or stupidly stubborn or just plain awkward. On the flip side, those who ask other people's opinions and advice about EVERYTHING and can't seem to make a decision or hold a viewpoint on their own can be considered wishy-washy, shallow or spineless. I think different scenarios call for varying degrees of these two extremes, and the trick is to find which one is right each time. There is something to be said for considering the commonly-held opinions of a group and acting accordingly, but then there are times that one really must stand alone and hold strong to a belief that is deep and precious, even when it's an uphill battle.

I think in recent years I've begun to swing a little farther to the asking-opinions side of things, at least for big decisions or issues, because I've realized that I don't always trust my visceral response to be appropriate (and I don't want to go crashing through my life like a bull in a china shop). In spending so much time recently pondering the process of decision-making itself, I've been trying to strengthen my own spine and not feel the need to check in with people quite so frequently. Sometimes all I need is one person's reassurance that I'm not crazy, other times I don't care what anyone thinks. The struggle continues. But I feel that the more information I gather about how other people have made decisions, and the more of my own opinions I form about these choices, the more experience I will have to draw on in making my own judgments as times goes on.

Sometimes it is really fascinating to be a human being!
Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Subject:Weddings and births...
Time:12:59 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
A little while ago I decided to write up a list of all the weddings I have attended in my life, and then got onto listing all the weddings I have heard about or seen pictures from (mostly through Facebook) within my circle of friends. This led into counting up the babies that have resulted from those marriages, and the current engagements I know about (I keep finding out about more!!!).

I have been to 20 weddings in my life (that I can recall), 12 of them in the last 5 years. I was a bridesmaid in 5 of them.

Here's the kicker... in addition to those attended, I have heard about 58 weddings in the last 5 years!!!!!! Two of them were same-sex marriages, which makes me super-happy. :-) Plus I know of 13 current engagements (really, I think everybody got the Obama-hopey disease and started doing happy things this year because we knew life would get better!!!!).

Out of the weddings I have attended or heard about in the last 5 years, there have been 25 babies born and there are 5 babies-in-progress at the moment. :-) There are 7 more little munchkins who have been born (or adopted!) into families I know (married more than 5 years ago), and five of them were born/adopted THIS YEAR!

I'm not sure why I wanted to write down all of these numbers, but there is an incredible joy that comes over me every time I think of it. There is so much happiness just within my own circle of people, so many new unions and births and life changes.

I love having so many reasons to celebrate!!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Subject:Survived!
Time:12:24 pm.
Mood: awake.
I survived the residency, and we finished the piece, and even got it to where it feels almost comfortable. There are no longer any "panic moments" when we can't remember what's next, and we're remembering the notes we got earlier in the week.

My feet survived, thanks to waterproof tape and Band-Aids the size of index cards. Spent a restful day on Sunday, which felt very very good.

Tonight we have OFF from rehearsal (thank heavens) and then Thursday we go back to review Wien and start another piece, weekend is off for the holiday, and then the insanity begins in full swing on the 8th and won't stop until June...

In good news, we got a paid "tour" (3 shows, for schools) in Maine! The kicker - it's January 7 and 8.... dead of winter, way up north.... oh wow. Bonding experience anyone?! Yay for all-wheel-drive....

I am back to work and regular life, and amazed that it is already September. Lord where does the time go?! :-)
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

Subject:Residency in progress
Time:1:28 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
My dance company is doing a residency with the Pascal Rioult Dance Theater, an incredible modern company in New York. One of Rioult's dancers, Stacey, is here for a week teaching us this crazy intense piece called "Wien" (Vienna) about people fighting to survive amid oppression and unrest in the years between the two world wars. There is a video here of his company doing the piece, I am learning the part of the man in the white tank top.

It's day 4 of 8 days of long hard rehearsals, but it's stretching and challenging us in good ways (even though we're all sore and bloody exhausted!). It's been interesting to set this piece on six women when it was originally 3 men and 3 women. We haven't had to change many of the lifts, though. Thankfully I am usually partnered with Mallory who is small but strong and holds her own weight. It's a majorly team-building dance, almost everything is done as a tight clump so we have to move together and be very aware of each other to make it work.

Stacey is really nice, very positive and encouraging, even as she works us super hard and moves fast so we get through all the choreography. And it's funny how many parallels there are between our company and Rioult - small, relatively new, devoted fan base, and a couple dancers who have been there 9 or 10 years but the rest are newer, so their turnover is about like ours. Of course, there are some major differences - they're in NY, they've got huge venues booking them and European tours, big corporate sponsors, full-time rehearsal schedules, a staff of 7 admin and design people, and health insurance (!) for their dancers. Damn! We've all taken opportunities to ask Stacey about how they work, their fundraising and networking tricks, how they run rehearsals, etc. I've almost learned more from that than from learning the dance!!

I'm battling blisters and skinned toes, sore joints from standing for hours on end, and the usual complications from my period (seriously, mother nature? THIS week?!!) but trying to fight through in spite of it all. Ibuprofin and water are my friends, as are the pre-made lunches and dinners I prepared last week. Thank heavens Deb has put on the AC in the studio - it has been over 95 and humid as hell every single day this week.

Everyone at work has been cool, my bosses aren't sending me out in the field this week (which is good, because my arms and shoulders were so sore this morning I could barely lift my cereal bowl!). And at least I'll have Saturday afternoon and Sunday to recover...
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Subject:Tracy Chapman!!
Time:2:20 pm.
Mood: happy.
Sarah and I went to see Tracy Chapman on Saturday night at the Calvin in Northampton, MA. Oh WOW what a concert!!! Our seats were about halfway back but the theater is great and you can see well from anywhere. And with such a liberal crowd full of Birkenstocks and tie-dye it was great to feel the energy (this concert was partially to console us for missing Falcon Ridge this year).

The opening singer was an amazing unknown named Gaby Moreno, see her website here (she's got more info on her MySpace page). She just walked up to the mic with a guitar and started singing, and the whole audience collectively stopped and said "whoa, what a voice!" She opened with her most powerful song, which soared in her pure, clear voice and strong self-accompaniment. She had a little of everything - some blues, some folk-rock, two songs in Spanish as a nod to her native Guatemala. It was incredible, so much so that I risked missing the beginning of Tracy's set to run across the street to the ATM and then dash up to the theater's mezzanine to buy her CD. She was there autographing albums, so I had her sign mine, and while she did I told her she's got wonderful variety and I hope the music industry never tries to make her brand herself, to which she and the other fans around her laughed. It was nice, she's very down-to-earth!

There was a good 45-minute gap between Gaby's opening and Tracy's set, so I didn't need to worry about missing anything. But boy was it worth the wait!!! She started with a great new song called "Sing Halleluia" that was a joyeous and ethereal nod to Nana, for me. There was one song in which she appeared to be playing a two-ended, sideways drum that was lying under the stool she sat on, because she had to bend over to play it and the mic was tipped down to catch her voice. That was a really powerful new song, I don't remember the title but it's on her most recent album (Our Bright Future) which I just bought on Amazon. :-) She sang the old favorites - The Promise, Baby Can I Hold You, Fast Car, Talkin' Bout A Revolution and, of course, Gimme One Reason. We all sang along on the latter, and then after she finished and we cheered the drums started up again and she did a sort of remix version of the last two verses which was very very cool. That was her closing song, and after she left the stage we stood and cheered and clapped and chanted "Tracy Tracy" for what seemed like five full minutes before she came back out and did TWO encore songs, including Stand Up For Your Rights. AWESOME.

The best moment of the night went something like this (she really knew her crowd!):

Tracy: "This next song is a new song..."

Audience: (loud cheers)

Tracy: "...it's about religion..."

Audience: (subdued cheers)

Tracy: "...about how sometimes we need to be saved, and sometimes we just need to be saved from the people who think it's their job to save us."

Audience: (EXPLOSIVE CHEERS!!)

There were these cool light bulbs that hung at varying lengths over the stage against a short white scrim (which hung in the upper half of the stage). The lighting scheme had a spotlight (that looked like a sun) which started on the left side of the scrim during the first song, then rose through the middle and eventually "set" on the right side as she finished the last song. Very very cool, I'd never seen anything like it. Complimentary but not distracting.

Distracting would be the drunk woman sitting behind us who kept making comments loudly during the quiet, pensive songs (grrr!) and whooping and cheering at very awkward times during the show (not at the ends of songs, like everyone else respectfully did!). But I think my memory of the concert will be much more tied to Tracy's performance than this woman's gravelly voice trying to sing along with Tracy....

All in all it was a fabulous time. Tracy sang the songs perfectly in my opinion, just similar enough to the album versions that you would whisper along with her, but with some great little twists and changes that made it worth seeing live to hear the new interpretations of the songs. Happy!!!
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Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Subject:Nana's service
Time:3:57 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Back from California after a wonderful but short trip home for Nana's memorial service. I was blown away by how many people came!! I got to hug more people than I can even count, SO many dear friends and family who I haven't seen in years. It was wonderful, made me so pleased to see how loved Nana was. I knew she had affected many people's lives over the years, but to see the crowds in the flesh was just amazing.

I read my tribute during the service, and it felt so natural, just like talking to a friend and sharing stories. I'm glad I had done lay reading in church from that pulpit many times, it felt familiar and comfortable. I did start to break toward the end of the last paragraph, when I actually acknowledge that she's gone, but it was okay; nobody expected me to keep it together, and the important thing was for the feeling to come through. It did. I saw many wet eyes when I sat back down, and half the choir later came up to me and said they couldn't sing the first verse of their song which immediately followed my reading. Guess that means I did my job right! :-)

Got lots of puppy love from the boys, which was great. Mom and I went through the photo albums, pulled out and scanned lots of favorite childhood photos so I'll have a digital record. Such fun to re-live old memories, and we found some wonderful photographs of Nana holding me and playing with me as a kid!
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Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Subject:Immigration
Time:7:54 am.
Mood: aggravated.
NPR was talking about immigration again today, it has come up several times recently which has made me acutely aware of how visceral a response I have to this topic. It is such a passionate issue for me that I have found I usually cannot even engage in debate about it because I have such an emotional reaction, and to my dismay I often find that I cannot conjure a logical explanation or argument for my positions. Yet I hold them as strongly as anything else I believe. I don't even know how I would/will react to whatever comments I get on this post.

I also do not expect anybody to read this all the way through -- it's more for my own benefit so I can get this off my chest (and my mind) and get on with my day.

If you do dare to read on... forgive me in advance for this rant, it's something that's been simmering for months, even years since the previous president stirred up such a frenzy about it before the mid-term elections in 2006.

The bleeding-heart inclusionist speaks )
Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

Subject:Weekends and summer...
Time:4:50 pm.
Mood: excited.
Got my tickets to come home for almost a week around Nana's service. And I'm very grateful to Barbara for the donation of her United miles, and for the fact that it's far enough in the future that we could plan and make arrangements in a non-frantic manner! Always good.

The one day in the past TEN that it has not been raining here was last Wednesday, and I was lucky enough to spend it outside on a field project, drilling through granite and enjoying the sunshine and breeze down near the water. My coworkers were jealous, especially since the electrical system in the building has been overloaded so we can't turn on the AC at all on the third floor. My office has no windows. It has been.... beastly at times. Yay for Charlie's electric fan!

T minus 15 hours until we leave for the bell conference!!! Sooooo excited! I've been looking forward to this since the one at URI two years ago, when Lorrie Ed and I played the crazy Mozart trio. We're not doing anything for the mini-concerts this year, but I'm still really fired up for the workshops I got (including bell trees and a special track about musicality with the funny woman whose workshop I loved last time!). And this year one of the massed pieces (that everybody plays, not just our level) is a song called On This Day Earth Shall Ring. Lorrie and I found it at a ring-through a few years ago, and we were so blown away we had to get it. The bass part has these great mallet rhythms and the piece builds to this grand, majestic sounds that seems to fill every space it can find with joy and emotion. We played it two years ago at Christmas and it was wonderful; I cannot WAIT to hear it resounding from the walls with 800 ringers!!
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Friday, June 12th, 2009

Subject:At peace
Time:3:20 pm.
Nana is at peace, as of Tuesday afternoon. My aunt was holding her hand when she gently breathed her last and floated away.

Everyone has been amazing and loving and wonderful, giving hugs and taking care of me. Thank you all so much.

I'm going to read my tribute at her memorial service. I had that in the back of my mind when I wrote it, so I'm really glad I get to do this.

Pictures take on a new value when you've just lost someone. So does feeling a presence that you cannot prove but are rock-solid certain of. :-)
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Monday, June 8th, 2009

Subject:My Nana
Time:10:54 am.
Facebook and Livejournal have allowed for some updates from mom, though she's mostly been working through e-mails. Nana is to the point where they are doing hospice care and helping her make her wishes known for the preparations. They got her off the ventilator so she could speak softly, which is good, and morphine drip is keeping her comfortable.

I am told she is calm, seems at peace and ready to pass into the next world. She is being cared for by some great doctors and staff, as well as my super-nurse-mommy, my aunt Margie and my sister, who is being completely amazing in supporting mom and giving me text updates as the situation progresses (thank you Posie!!! I'm so glad you can be there since I cannot).

Today I took a picture of myself holding a sign that says "I LOVE YOU NANA" and e-mailed it to mom so she could print it for Nana to have something from me there. It seemed a better idea than writing some long letter she would have to struggle to read. Besides, pretty much all of what I wanted to say to her was expressed in the tribute I wrote for her 90th birthday in April(included below the cut). My company has been wonderfully flexible about taking some leave to come to her memorial service, and several airlines offer bereavement fares within the US, which is nice.

This past week I have been pondering the scripture reading at church last Sunday, from Thessalonians: "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks." Rejoicing that Nana has had such a good long life and has touched so many lives. Praying constantly for her comfort, the doctors' wisdom and my family's strength. Giving thanks that she lived at home, on her own, to the very end and never had to move to assisted living (against her wishes!). Giving thanks that she does not have some slow, degenerative disease that would trap her in a lifeless body or steal away her mental capacities. Giving thanks that she has some time, albeit short, to see loved ones and say goodbye. Giving thanks that we had the chance, not long ago, to pay tribute to her life at her 90th birthday and that so many dear friends were able to make it from far and near. Giving thanks that I was able to see her, in the hospital the day of Rosie's graduation and then the day after she came home when we got sushi and had lunch at her apartment. Giving thanks that she can (and hopefully will) pass into the next life peacefully and with minimal pain.

Here is the tribute I wrote for her birthday. )
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Subject:Babies!
Time:10:50 am.
I got to babysit for little Piper on Thursday night while Beth was at a wedding rehearsal. She is absolutely precious and beautiful, very mellow and easygoing. She only cries lightly when hungry and calms down immediately when fed. She smiles and giggles in her sleep. She slept for a good hour while I was there, which gave me time to throw the tennis ball outside for the dogs and give them some well-deserved patting. They were very very happy about the sudden influx of undivided attention! They are so sweet with the baby, they want to sniff and lick her but Beth has trained them not to so instead they sit guard under her swing and watch patiently over her. They seem pleasantly resigned to the fact that the baby needs a lot of Beth's attention, but are still as loving and dear as ever when they do get some kisses.

And Beth is absolutely glowing. She's figured out what of her abundant baby gear is most useful and has it all set up in a way that works easily for her. She reads Piper so well and has settled right into being a mommy. It's so beautiful to see after all she went through to have this baby! I took the first good portrait of her holding Piper and they make a stunning pair. It's marvelous!
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